Questions

ey its been quite some time since I've posted something here, I guess it was more than a month ago. Its not that I don't have time to blog, but I think that I don't have much to blog about. I think the feeling that I don't like is back... I'm again in the state that I'm over thinking things again.... I dunno, I'm having negative thoughts towards my work and we're having some issues with our family business.

Am I just carried away because of people leaving the company ? am I affected with my co-leagues rampant application to other post / company? Or Am I really overstaying already with my current company ? Maybe its time to move.... but how do I know its the right time.
I guess that's one problem, am I overly relaxed and comfortable with where I am? Don't I have plans in the future ? or have I stopped dreaming?

Last Sat, I was in antipolo with my team mates having our Teambuilding. I was sitting at the corner of the room, having my feet all stretched and listening to some officemates sing. Then this friend "Marvin" sat beside me.... we started our talking and chatting about things... no specific topics actually. We talked about songs, we talked about people, we talked about the future....

Don't get me wrong I like talking with this person, prior to that conversation, we had some great chats, the difference is its only now that we talked about our plans....

Vino, has already resigned and will be on terminal leave till his last day. One striking question he asked me is ... "where do you see yourself 5 years from now?" Interview eh noh? But that question was the thoughest question I got from that friend. To be honest I was stunned, and never got the chance to answer back, well at least not in the nearest 2-3 minutes. Before I could answer he said... "kung nde mo alam, ibig sabihin ala kang goal.." Aray !!! it struck me deep, I wanted to stand and leave him ... hahahaha pero no I have to face it. After that line, there was silence. It was a nearly 10 minute gap that I started to answer back. Sbi ko "nde naman sa walang plans Marvin, nde pa clear yung situation ko, kaya nde ko masabi. I want to go out of the corporate world, I want to have my own business" thats what I told him, And I want it in the near future. 5 years I think would be long, with this feeling that I'm feeling now. Maybe the things that I'm thinking of right now is not even Marvin's concern. Easy for him to say, He's leaving for SG this July to work.

Ang mahirap kasi sakin, ako panganay.... I can't just plan things for myself without thinking of my family. Oo I still have my mom and my dad, but dad is in another country, I have to stand up and be a proxy.... be the head in his absence.... who doesn't want to grow ? who doesn't want to have a bigger salary? I think my mom needs me here more than the money I could bring in. We have a business, which I think would require all our efforts. My physical being would be important more than anything else.

Ey don't get me wrong, I don't hate Marvin for what he said, I guess it was just something that cought me off guard, that my defense was all down. That one line question made me think again ....